With Golfer Girl I went through the same thing with my ex. Your ex ...was....baiting you my friend. She was getting you to feel sorry for her then(In her mind hopefully get back together and she hasn't learned her lesson.)
I think in your case Sham, she not only did not learn her lesson for the reason why you left her, but also because I feel and I could be wrong, but I get the feeling that she thinks that YOU WILL NOT GO THROUGH WITH THE DIVORCE. She doesn't take what your doing and how you feel seriously. She felt if she said the right things pulled the right strings you would come running back to her. But Sham do not feel bad for what you did I mean she still has no idea what you now know. It makes sense as to why she kept saying "It doesn't matter were getting divorced".
My friend you can't be surprised because if she truly feels that the marriage is over and you yourself already feel that way, then you have to let her go, look at this as closure that you made the right decision, it could have been worse, you could have forgiven her then got back with her then find this out. (I did that before and trust me that hurt more than the first time, because I thought we were "past" it.) It is normal to feel that way because when you spoke to your wife you probably felt and saw signs of the old her coming back. If you can try not to see her again in your old home because it all plays a part on your mind, all the memories, the love, good times and bad. You are a good man Sham, go dark but also put you first. And when you have doubt just go back to WHY you left her to begin with. You miss the way she used to be, not the person she is NOW, a lot of times we get caught up in the person we want to fall in love with VS THE REALITY of the situation. If I may make a suggestion? Can you get away for a week maybe a few days? Just to get away change a location just take off and reflect. Maybe that will do you some good.
Take Care Sham -KRIS