| | Re: Go time...and time to go. Sucks...
I get the feeling your wife really doesn't like being alone.
For whatever reason (midlife, unhappiness, self-esteem, etc.) she found the great sexual adventure of the internet and like so many millions, wanted to turn the fantasy into reality.
She did, and she got burned. Now she's left all alone. When she feels alone what does she do? She shows Sham a glimpse of the old W, get's that heart to ache once again, and - if she plays her cards right - gets Sham back so she doesn't feel so alone. However, nothing, absolutely nothing that she has said or done so far would make me believe for a second she wouldn't cheat on you again.
Just as the old HS friend was a warm male to flirt with, you must recognize Sham that so are you! And, as you've admitted before through this episode, she does know how to push your buttons.
She saw Sham 2.0 and she knew that she was conquered and alone. Show a little contrition, shed a tear, flirt it up with Sham and she just might melt that 2.0 and get Sham back to being a beta.
I feel for you, bro. I do. Somewhere in her brain she probably has real love and real respect for you. But that place is small and very removed. What fills most of her brain is HER sense of need. And right now she NEEDS you, that it why she WANTS you. Sadly, once that need dissipates, the want will as well. And then, whether you're sitting on the couch watching TV with her or she's on a plane on the road, you can be rest assured she'll be sexting with the next great thing that tickles her excitement bone.
You're right. Where she has gone and what she has done to herself is almost beyond recognition. It is not your cross to carry, nor is it healthy for you to want to carry it.
It's time to let go. You guys (her especially) are so far removed from any pragmatic and sincere R that to even contemplate that now is only f**king with your own emotions.
She has a long way to go to fix herself before either of you should think about fixing your marriage.
BTW, to answer your own question, she doesn't think you'll go through with it because she senses her "tactics" are working on you, and melting your hard (Sham 2.0) edges into an again maleable substrate.