Catherine602

Tall I have been thinking. The word need - I need to talk to my husband in order to feel connected to him, I need his non sexual thouch and affection in order to feel desire for him and I need to feel safe in order to be sexually uninhibited. These are needs that if not met will severly hinder my happiness in my marriage. I would resent my husband if he deneyed me what I needed to maintain my connection to me. I would feel he did not care what happened to me

When I think of that I understand a little better what a mature man means about needs. Male sexual needs sex reminds me of teen aged boys trying to pressure girls to give them a bj for relief. They need the bj for themselves or sex the girl is just a convient mouth or vag.

Some less mature men may view sex as satisfying their need for sex, period. Sex is about their relief and pleasure this is the same as immature women wanting to be showered with conversation, gifts and affection for their personal feel good dose and not as a conduit to connect emotionally with their partner.

I think i understand better that the desire for sex is a need for continued attachment just like my need for affection for me is a need for continued attachment with my husband.
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