You remind me so much of my brother. A long time ago he found his wife cheating blatantly on him. She would throw him a crumb and he'd get his hopes up. This went back and forth for some time until he met another lady. Well until he met this polar opposite really decent lady, he thought what he had with his ex was decent and just needed work. It's like the boiled frog analogy. If you throw the frog in boiling water, it's such a shock it hops out. If you put the frog in and slowly boil the water, it slowly gets used to the tempurature and stays til it's boiled. You're used to the boiling water. That's why these totally self-serving pathetic attempts from her are a big deal for you. You've learned to not expect better from her (slowly getting adjusted to the boiling water). From the outside, some of us are shocked and outraged (we hopped in the boiling water), because you are conditioned to her crap.
I know it's your life and you not me must live with the outcome, but I haven't seen anything from her that shows she's thinking of anyone but herself.
My wish for you is that you end up like my brother. Away from the toxic woman and meet someone new (eventually) that is like a breath of fresh air. Recently in total happiness my brother has said to me that until this relationship, he hadn't realized that being with someone didn't have to be so f'en hard.
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