Originally Posted by COGypsy
Well it seems to me that just about everywhere drug use is illegal. If you know that he's out buying or selling, then report that illegal activity and see if he can get picked up. Then make your move while he's being held.
If you have divorce papers filled out, then have him served in jail. If you're leaving, go out the door. Whatever it is, use that time, you know? I don't know how involved he is in whatever he's using, but he could even get sentenced to rehab and then you'd have plenty of time to work out a plan...
I don't have divorce papers filled out - it cost $185 to file - which I don't have. Legal separation is no cheaper - same filing fee.
Why won't a homeless shelter take you? You have no money and nowhere to go. What do you need to do - go live under a bridge to get into a shelter? And I'm not saying that in a funny way or to diminish the problems you are facing.
Some were men only shelters, others were only women with children, others were only for battered women, another was full with a waiting list.
You are married to an addict who hasn't hit bottom. He may never hit bottom. I grew up with addicts, married addicts, and know what it is all about. Many only hit bottom when they're six feet under. Tragic, but true.
The first thing I learned, the hard way, is I could not rely on an addict for anything. Zip. Nada. I also learned that I was way too involved with what the addict was doing, keeping tabs on his life, trying to get him to see the light, quit using, and get into some type of rehab. He kept using. I continued to go crazy.
If the homeless shelter will not take you, call the Salvation Army in your area. Hopefully, there is one. They will take anyone in who asks, or help you find shelter. Call the YMCA or YWCA.
I can't remember if I called the salvation army or not. Will try. Didn't think of the YMCA. Will try.
When you tried to leave before and your husband knew it, he hid your purse "and blocked me from leaving" (your words). You don't think he wouldn't get physical if you left? Don't put it past him. At this point, I agree w/Gypsy. See if you can get the cops to discover him making a drug deal, then get the hell out.
I have actually thought about doing this - picked up the phone once. I have to have someplace to go first. I'm concerned about any repercussions from associates of his.
You are living, first-hand, with what addicts do: they drag everyone down with them who is in their path. Addiction is an equal-opportunity destroyer. Get out or be dragged under.
Please update us when you can do so safely.