I think I may have become a bit of the proverbial doormat.
I tend to be extremely affectionate with my H. We both have physical touch as our top love language, but I can't keep my hands off him and I'm always telling him I love him, offering him things, etc. I sometimes wonder if this could get old for him, make him feel suffocated, mothered, etc. I asked him today and he said no, he loves it - which was a huge relief because it's what comes naturally to me.
So my question is for both men and women: Men: would it drive you nuts if your wife were constantly all over you, basically running after you asking you if you need anything, a lot of unsolicited physical contact? Women: do you do this?
It's gone into high gear this weekend as H has a mild cold - I've been practically falling over myself squeezing oranges, running out to the pharmacy, baking him a cake (that one was his request, to be honest, but he wouldn't have asked if I didn't have a history of falling over myself to make him anything he wants at the drop of a hat), making homemade soups, tucking blankets around him, making smoothies, fawning over him, bringing him newspapers, etc etc.
If he were to tell me that it was too much, I think it would be very hard for me to accept. I think a big part of the "physical touch" love language for me is being the one who shows love rather than receiving.
So... I think I might be turning into a doormat. As long as he doesn't get turned off by that, and I'm not feeling used or resentful, I don't know that it's a bad thing. I have been warned by others that if I "spoil" him now, it will be almost impossible to get him "un-used" to all this later, if I end up feeling used.
As a quick example, we had been living in our last apartment for 5 months when I asked him to put something in the freezer for me; he couldn't figure out how to open the freezer door because he'd never done so in 5 months of living there! He literally doesn't even get a glass of water for himself!
I tend to be extremely affectionate with my H. We both have physical touch as our top love language, but I can't keep my hands off him and I'm always telling him I love him, offering him things, etc. I sometimes wonder if this could get old for him, make him feel suffocated, mothered, etc. I asked him today and he said no, he loves it - which was a huge relief because it's what comes naturally to me.
So my question is for both men and women: Men: would it drive you nuts if your wife were constantly all over you, basically running after you asking you if you need anything, a lot of unsolicited physical contact? Women: do you do this?
It's gone into high gear this weekend as H has a mild cold - I've been practically falling over myself squeezing oranges, running out to the pharmacy, baking him a cake (that one was his request, to be honest, but he wouldn't have asked if I didn't have a history of falling over myself to make him anything he wants at the drop of a hat), making homemade soups, tucking blankets around him, making smoothies, fawning over him, bringing him newspapers, etc etc.
If he were to tell me that it was too much, I think it would be very hard for me to accept. I think a big part of the "physical touch" love language for me is being the one who shows love rather than receiving.
So... I think I might be turning into a doormat. As long as he doesn't get turned off by that, and I'm not feeling used or resentful, I don't know that it's a bad thing. I have been warned by others that if I "spoil" him now, it will be almost impossible to get him "un-used" to all this later, if I end up feeling used.
As a quick example, we had been living in our last apartment for 5 months when I asked him to put something in the freezer for me; he couldn't figure out how to open the freezer door because he'd never done so in 5 months of living there! He literally doesn't even get a glass of water for himself!