Originally Posted by voivod
and the more the individual accept his/her role in conflicts/issues/problems, the more individual counseling is appropriate and helpful/healing.
I'm a therapist so I'll chime in:
For couples therapy to be truly have a chance at being successful, both parties need to:
- Agree there is a problem
- Agree that each of them may play a role in the problem
- Be willing to change their behavior in a team effort to solve the problem
A lot of times, the buck stops at each agreeing they contribute - or being willing to consider that at all.
Couples work can be effective with open minds of both parties and the presence of caring feelings for each other. If there is too much resentment that's built up over a long period of time - sometimes it's just too much "water under the bridge."
I'll sometimes start with a couple then if I see a deeper individual issue in one of the partners I'll suggest an individual session to have the time to further explore (with a no secrets policy in place). Sometimes the old wounds of one person can significantly impact the relationship.
Bottom line: find someone you feel really comfortable with and trust your instincts. Lastly, if it isn't working, give another person a shot. Counseling can really help those who "work it."