stav

oh dear, this is a mess isn't it? Is your wife Japanese? I don't want to make too many assumptions, but her background may have a bearing on her behaviour. Her job for instance, is it very high paid, high pressure type stuff? Can she not cut back on it? The other thing is that if she is Japanese, the discussion of feelings about love and sex may be an alien concept, much like it is in the greek community i am from.

The fact that she has now realised this is a real issue for you, and wants to try counselling, shows that she loves you enough to go against her instincts and upbringing, to try and sort things out with you.

Tell her you are willing to give it a go, but that you expect her to slow down a little on work, and to talk to you properly, and make time for the two of you together.

The drinking might stop being an issue once the two of you are happier together.

Good luck!