Originally Posted by Mat E K
I went with my wife to the doctor the other day. She read comso as we waited. On the way home she told me she felt relieved because she read an article that said that my women do nt like to see thier man naked, becasue she feels the same way. I was pretty much devistated by that statement. She said that it wasn't that she didin't like to see MY body naked, but that she never really liked it, no matter what her man looked liked. This was no help to me. I feel embarassed and jugded and I don't know how I can even have sex again feeling rejected and judged like this.
I already have problems feeling like I'm not very attractive to my wife. Sex is quite infrequent, going as long as six weeks in between. She tells me she loves me and cares about me just like she always has, but she just doesn't "get tingely" like she used to. We're still teying to figure it out, but it takes it's toll on me, leaving me feeling unwanted and neglected. She makes an effort to be with me more often, but that last a little while and drops off again. It hurts me that I'm just as crazy about her as I've always been, but she's just not that into me anymore. I realize this is a common problem, especially after kids. It's not like we've even been together that long. We've been married for four years and we're in our early thirties. I think that's a little soon to be going through something like this.
These two things together have made feel like total crap. My wife insists that she didn't mean that I was unattractive. She just feels better knowing that other women feel like she does in that nudity, even 'idealized' nudity on porn ect. doesn't do anything for and never has. That doesn't help me. I feel let down that yet another thing in my marriage is not how I thought it would be. SOmetimes I feel like there are certain needs in my life that will just never be met and if I want to stay with the woman I love, I'm just going to have to get used to it. Sometimes I wish my wife didn't feel the need to tell me EVERYTHING she's thinking and feeling. I think this little jewel about how my body does nothoing for her she could have saved for her girlfriends. I just didn't need to know.
I am totally heartbroken at this point. Am I being too sesnative? SHould I just suck it up and accept that there must be SOMETHING that makes my wife love me asnd want me on accation even though I have no idea what that might be? All this had taken a huge hit on my ego, am I in the wrong for that? I'm littlerally choked up over this and feel, just destroyed. Please help.
I think you need to take a big step back and realize that Cosmo is not an authority on your relationship and has nothing to do with this.
Your wife has admitted that she does not want to see you naked, and sex is dwindling - she is seeking validation that a sexless marriage is ok now.
It's not. And there are plenty of women that would find you attractive naked, and would enjoy a relationship that included meeting your needs too. The sooner you realize that and start acting like that, the better off you'll be.