Originally Posted by Jeres
Very good advice and I will do that. It's very hard though. Yesterday when I decided to tell her that I can't just wait for you to unravel your confusion and that I am making the decision to end this so I no longer have to be subject to you playing with me, I felt better.
The nights are the worst times. After I initially told her, I felt good. In fact I read all of the comments that people posted back to her so she can see how other people see this and than told her that I am moving on.
I feel trapped, I want to make her life hell, but am very reluctant.
Eh. You just fcked up. Don't beat yourself up too much but you did exactly what we told you NOT to do. DO NOT CONTACT HER. DO NOT QUOTE from this website what people are saying. Don't even let her know you're on TAM. Don't let her know anything about you. Don't aclling her saying she ruined your life and you want to inflict pain on her and blah blah blah. She will see you as a psycho/despserate loser who doesn't respect himself/can't let go even when she's kicking dirt in his face.
Not a peep from you to her. Do not contact her again. At all.
Re: CA laws--you should google them or call up an attorney or your county courthouse for the laws. Every state is different re: requirements/protocol to file sep/divorce.
NO MORE TALKING TO HER.
This woman left you go go live with another man.
AND YES........find out who the girlfriend is and EXPOSE the affair. Do this w/o telling your wife or the OM beforehand. Because if you warn them, it gives them time to corroborate stories and make you out to be the crazy one. Don't let them know beforehand.