Quote:
Originally Posted by stav
oh dear, this is a mess isn't it? Is your wife Japanese? I don't want to make too many assumptions, but her background may have a bearing on her behaviour. Her job for instance, is it very high paid, high pressure type stuff? Can she not cut back on it? The other thing is that if she is Japanese, the discussion of feelings about love and sex may be an alien concept, much like it is in the greek community i am from.
The fact that she has now realised this is a real issue for you, and wants to try counselling, shows that she loves you enough to go against her instincts and upbringing, to try and sort things out with you.
Tell her you are willing to give it a go, but that you expect her to slow down a little on work, and to talk to you properly, and make time for the two of you together.
The drinking might stop being an issue once the two of you are happier together.
Good luck!
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Yes she is Japanese. I really think the drinking is more an issue for me than it is for her. She never really cared too much about it.
I told her I was willing to go to counseling. She still is gone all weekend working and going to industry parties, even after I asked for a divorce. It does not seem to be connecting. She went and bought me some gifts, and that was it. It seems like she thinks that buying things and agreeing to go to counseling is enough to get me back.
I understand that she is coming from a different culture and all. I lived over there long enough to realize that I cannot expect the same behavior from her as I can from an American girl. Still it seems that if she really was committed to working things out she would at least try to take some time off to work things out instead of continuing to work around the clock.