| | Re: For high drive women married to low drive men...
Hi, first post. DW and I are in a similar position. She is raring to go all the time and I am not. We both love sex and its good when we have it. I'd guess we average three times a month, but that has a as much to do with having teenagers in the house than my sex drive.
I think part of it might be that DW wants it all the time. I can get it anything I want, so missing an opportunity tonight isn't the end of the world. It's human nature to take for granted what you have and want the things you cannot. I'd probably be more interested in sex if she played hard to get.
I don't think that's the problem though. In our case I can admit that I am lazy and she can admit that what she really is seeking is the intimacy, not necessarily the orgasm, and that she is guilty of waiting for me to initiate due to her dreading being rejected. We've found ways to work this out.
I try and be more affectionate in bed and out. She tries to initiate more often. We've found sexual outlets that let us get what we both want. For instance, she's learned that if she pleasures me with her hands, she can usually hop on and take ride. She denies me orgasms for up to a week or so, during which time I'm much more likely to want to play.
Different people have different sex drives and when they get married, they have to find a way to balance them out. We've found ways and discussed the baggage that may be causing the issue. It works for us and when we do have sex, its terrific.