Originally Posted by forthg
I feel like it is my responsibility to be there for her and set aside any of my own feelings or wants, as they have all become null and void. I just need to know what my responsibility is ... What if we were married with the rings, would my responsibility be different.
Your confusion stems from the fact that you don't understand boundaries. Whether you two were legally married or not, you cannot fix her. You are responsible for no one's life but your own. I'm not talking about loyalty, dedication, or commitment. I'm talking about respecting this woman's rights to remain in her mess. She's made it clear she does not want help at this time.
Step away and allow her to make her own choices. She may well discover that she needs to seek professional help. We DO have responsibilities to our partners, but "fixing" their addictions or mental problems doesn't fall under that category.