Originally Posted by toolate
What is better guys... a woman who you get to sleep with on the second date and wants sex more than you in the long run, begging for it so that you hear her as a nagging sex fiend, or a woman you had to impress before letting you sleep with her, and allows you to make the moves and you still have to prove yourself as worthy in order to have that prize?
Well, I thought that I was a pretty normal drive man until stumbling across this site. Boy was I wrong, when you consider some of the guys who are in relationships where their wife's sex drive dries up right after "I do"!! I just didn't really have to every day, but intimacy was definately an everyday thing. I am at about every other day for sex, except weekends, where we often fill in the gaps from the week. My wife is high drive.
Frankly, I choose neither of those options. To be with someone who was pretty confident, and relaxed about it is a utopian view. No stress or games. Just accepting. Willing to be aggressive when she wants to be, and hard to get in a flirty way. Now, I wouldn't like begging or constant asking, but sometimes I like to pursue from the moment I get home, other times she just gives me the look.
To be honest, so much of my wife's interest is wrapped up in a confusing mix of insecurity, even after 24 years. Its not just simple 'wanting'. If she'd just relax, smile or flirt, or sneak into the shower, we'd be like the first ten years or so, when we never had a TV and never missed it. In those years, I was always the alpha dominant. I don't know how many times we rented a beach house for the week, opened the windows, and barely saw the beach.
Oh, and she was pretty convinced that I wasn't the one when we first dated, and pretty religious, but said that she had a crush for a few years. Took months of pursuit to get to the sex stage. Not sure that my stubborn determination is a positive sometimes, in other areas.
If you want my opinion, the problem doesn't appear to be you.