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HerToo · 11-07-2011, 10:51 AM

I'm sorry you are going through such an emotional time.

I'd like to ask you for some input if I may.

My wife is not in the same place as you being that I am still at home, going to IC, provide full transparency, and have maintained NC with the OW. But the hurt is there regardless. My wife is afraid of losing me. When we talked, I told her that I'm so sorry I hurt her to the core. I also told her that she could never trust me 100% again. She agreed on the trust, but disagreed on the "core" part. She said that me leaving her would be hurting her to the core.

I feel like I have lost my love for my wife, and that I no longer deserve to love her because of what I did. I'm working on both issues, but it's not looking good right now. Running off to the OW is not an option since she dropped me like a rock on D-Day. My wife and I have 3 adult kids, and the OW is divorced with no kids.

How is leaving worse than cheating, especially when I would make sure that the only she loses in a divorce is me?

If I'm not able to get back the love I once had for my wife, would it be right for us to stay married?

My wife hasn't gone through the anger stage yet. She is out of town this week, and I think that she will be thinking about this whole mess when she's alone. I think the anger phase will hit during this time. As you go through the anger phase, could you share with me your feelings about saying "enough!" and getting a divorce if your husband was going through what I'm going through?

11-07-2011, 10:51 AM	#8 (permalink)
HerToo Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 1,151	Re: Pretty sure my marriage is done. I'm sorry you are going through such an emotional time. I'd like to ask you for some input if I may. My wife is not in the same place as you being that I am still at home, going to IC, provide full transparency, and have maintained NC with the OW. But the hurt is there regardless. My wife is afraid of losing me. When we talked, I told her that I'm so sorry I hurt her to the core. I also told her that she could never trust me 100% again. She agreed on the trust, but disagreed on the "core" part. She said that me leaving her would be hurting her to the core. I feel like I have lost my love for my wife, and that I no longer deserve to love her because of what I did. I'm working on both issues, but it's not looking good right now. Running off to the OW is not an option since she dropped me like a rock on D-Day. My wife and I have 3 adult kids, and the OW is divorced with no kids. How is leaving worse than cheating, especially when I would make sure that the only she loses in a divorce is me? If I'm not able to get back the love I once had for my wife, would it be right for us to stay married? My wife hasn't gone through the anger stage yet. She is out of town this week, and I think that she will be thinking about this whole mess when she's alone. I think the anger phase will hit during this time. As you go through the anger phase, could you share with me your feelings about saying "enough!" and getting a divorce if your husband was going through what I'm going through?