Originally Posted by Livia&Olen
I was hoping that someone familiar with this would comment
Would it be too much to ask...well, to explain a little how, what, when...I still cannot picture anything in my head.
It is difficult because my husband, even without his confession, is fulfilling my needs, desires, whatever...
Not yet to help me start with anything, rather to help me decide...
I am not talking about any kinks, just the everydays life
I don't want to provide masturbatory fantasy for some youngsters but our life is actually quite conventional 80% of the time.
She likes to cook so she continues that. I take out the trash. We do finance together.
What's different is what motivates me...does this act or what I'm doing something that would bring mental, emotional, physical comfort to my Queen? And more importantly, what makes it satisfying is that my Queen acknowledges her position of power and like Omega said very eloquently, seem to really enjoy her dominance.
And we talk about EVERYTHING.
So for the 20% that is not typical, boring suburban stuff, here it goes.
Morning: I usually wake up before she does and goes make breakfast. Serves breakfast while my wife reads the news and answers her email on her Ipad. Sometimes on the bed, sometimes at the dinner table. Serve with adoration and happiness attitude. Tidy up the kitchen while she eats. Make her favorite cup of tea and mix with water to right temp. After she eats, she moves to the sofa while I clean up and wash dishes.
Then I bring her the tea, kneeling while we chat for about 30 minutes. She on the sofa enjoying tea, me on my knees. Anything from mundane "Have you read..." to "The car needs oil change" to "Have you heard from junior" to "May I take you out on a date night Friday?" We call this time 100% attention time--my job is to be attentive. She may want a refill or some grapes or she may just want conversation. Kiss her hand to thank her for allowing me to serve her breakfast.
Off to shower and make the bed (she likes the way I make the bed)
At 9AM, I'm off to work and play corporate warrior. The drive to work transforms me into a hyper-connected, multi-tasking manager, dispensing instructions to staff and reviewing progress, etc. So goes rest of day.
9AM-5PM. Flirty texts...emails...things to keep me connected. She likes about 5-10 emails/texts during the day so I do.
Dinner time: She cooks dinner. I stay in my office to finish up any work I didn't get done at the office. She calls me to set the dinner table.
I set the dinner table and serve dinner that she cooked. We eat and chat. After dinner, same deal. She moves to the couch to watch TV. I clean up and wash dishes and attend to the trash. I make her favorite tea again. Mix to right temp.
Bring to her and serve on knees when I'm done with dishes and clean up. We watch TV together or we may just chat. Again, this is 100% attention time to her. She often likes a foot massage or sometimes (if I'm really lucky), an all over body massage while watching TV.
Shower time. Every now and then, she "rewards" me with shower chores. That means showering together, pick out her clothes for the night, help with towering, lotion, drying hair. She likes nightly back massage...and if it leads to sex, I usually get the signal.
Since sex is a big issue in most marriage, I'll address it briefly. She likes me to take the lead most of the time but she has the option of saying no...keep massaging her back or body (which is awesome too). She likes to be the dominant sex partner (by virtue of the fact that she has the veto on what we do or if she suggests Y, we will do Y) but she likes me to do the physical advances and physical leading, if that makes any sense. After 20+ years, I know what she likes anyway.
If we have sex, sex always leads to multiple orgasms for her whereas sex does not always lead to orgasm for me since she decides if my orgasm is "allowed" or not. I've gone to sleep many nights fully aroused while hugging/caressing my wife to sleep after she had multiple orgasms. Am I annoyed? Not really. I love the spiritual/emotional experience of making love to my wife and I know unlike guys my age, my wife is up for sex almost anytime, anywhere--because she knows it's mostly for her benefit and she is under no pressure/resentment that I'm only in it for my quick orgasm (because she decides if I'm going to get one). And she knows I love kneeling on the bed giving her full body massages for as long as she wishes--and if it leads to no sex, I'm content with that. So we do better in the intimacy department than we did before.
Do I know that I have the money/social stature to go out and get a young hottie? In my case, likely yes. But I like the emotional bond and closeness and the fact that it allows me to relax/unwind after a stressful day by being submissive to the wife I adore. And I know enough to know that I have a more satisfying emotional life for me and my wife (emphasis for me and my wife--others may gag).
What makes it safe for me is my wife constant verbal and nonverbal cues that shows me she respects me, respects my judgment, respects the fact that I am highly competitive/alpha to everyone else and she tells me constantly she feels lucky that I choose to be vulnerable to her. She tells me all the time that she loves me and I'm a great husband. I don't think I would be able to function without this respect.
I hope this is not too much TMI. As I said, most of it (80%) is just boring suburban stuff.