Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

nurse2008 · 02-19-2008, 03:41 PM

I'm in a difficult situation that I'm hoping to seek some advice on.

About a month ago, I discovered that my husband was having an emotional affair with a woman who lives near by. I found this out because they had been emailing each other. Although I always had a gut feeling they shared chemistry, my husband insisted they were "just friends".

When I approached him after I found about him and her, initially he lied about how long they have been close. However, through my investigation with the use of an excellent spysoftware that was installed into our computer, I found out that his correspondence with her has been going on for almost a year. Almost a year!

During those conversations, he mainly lamented about how he wasn't close to me, and he also shared a lot of his dreams/hopes/aspirations/daily routines, with her. All the things I have been wishing for since we have been married that he doesn't do with me. He even at one point said that she had replaced me as his wife, because he knew he should be saying the things that he has been saying to her, to me.

I'm struggling with this because I feel so betrayed. I feel like he shared with her any negative thing I have ever said or did, probably most likely drawing him closer to her. I don't trust him anymore and I can't stop thinking there is a woman out there who has a piece of my husband that he won't even share with me. Incidently, she is married also, and he insists he never slept with her. After all came out, I asked to have a meeting with her. It was very calm. And of course she only admitted to what I knew at the time.

Anyways. We have small kids together, and although he and I are very different in our interests, maybe this woman just helped me to see that my husband and I are simply not a good match. My needs and interests are so different from his. But do I break up my family and devastate my kids in the hope that one day I will find a partner who values me or our relationship? As a mom, do I even have that right?

It makes no sense to me, but he insists he wants us to stay together. I'm the one with the doubts. Still, after all came out into the open, we are still not that close. Not much has changed. Except he has ceased all contact with her. That I know. What a soap opera. Doesn't even sound real.

I'm just so confused and really alone. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

02-19-2008, 03:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
nurse2008 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 7	Emotional Infidelity online I'm in a difficult situation that I'm hoping to seek some advice on. About a month ago, I discovered that my husband was having an emotional affair with a woman who lives near by. I found this out because they had been emailing each other. Although I always had a gut feeling they shared chemistry, my husband insisted they were "just friends". When I approached him after I found about him and her, initially he lied about how long they have been close. However, through my investigation with the use of an excellent spysoftware that was installed into our computer, I found out that his correspondence with her has been going on for almost a year. Almost a year! During those conversations, he mainly lamented about how he wasn't close to me, and he also shared a lot of his dreams/hopes/aspirations/daily routines, with her. All the things I have been wishing for since we have been married that he doesn't do with me. He even at one point said that she had replaced me as his wife, because he knew he should be saying the things that he has been saying to her, to me. I'm struggling with this because I feel so betrayed. I feel like he shared with her any negative thing I have ever said or did, probably most likely drawing him closer to her. I don't trust him anymore and I can't stop thinking there is a woman out there who has a piece of my husband that he won't even share with me. Incidently, she is married also, and he insists he never slept with her. After all came out, I asked to have a meeting with her. It was very calm. And of course she only admitted to what I knew at the time. Anyways. We have small kids together, and although he and I are very different in our interests, maybe this woman just helped me to see that my husband and I are simply not a good match. My needs and interests are so different from his. But do I break up my family and devastate my kids in the hope that one day I will find a partner who values me or our relationship? As a mom, do I even have that right? It makes no sense to me, but he insists he wants us to stay together. I'm the one with the doubts. Still, after all came out into the open, we are still not that close. Not much has changed. Except he has ceased all contact with her. That I know. What a soap opera. Doesn't even sound real. I'm just so confused and really alone. Any thoughts would be appreciated.