Originally Posted by Janie
Of course!! Exactly what I'm illustrating.
I want my daughters to be sexually healthy, aware and connected, but more than that I want them SAFE!!
How to raise a daughter with a healthy sexuality???
This truly IS a hell of a question isn't it? And we surely DON'T want them just sleeping with everyone they "feel" they love, as love is fickle without the commitment, so much easier to throw away.
OH my goodness Janie, do I ever think like you! I also feel they are the GATEKEEPERS, it is a treasure, Girls MUST be educated about men's insatiable LUST in puberty- and beyond and yeah, deal with themselves too! How men will say ANYTHING in the heat of the moment to get into their pants, my own Dad would tell my Mom he was DYING . They marreid TOO young & it was a horrendous mistake -my Grandmother blowing up about them sleeping together, and he probably would have left her without sex, a mess, so they marreid too quick to appease the "MORAL" but they were NOT right for each other . This is not the answer either, even though the Bible tells you .... better to marry than Burn.
I've considered having small 'classes' with women to talk about their sexuality - with the goal being each woman connect with her inner temptress. (I firmly believe every woman has a Venus within!) The art of seduction. Even seductive dance. It is natural for women - and most women WANT TO PLAY THE ROLE!! They just lack the confidence. Allow the titters, but get past them. Tap into the real power of female sexuality. And learn to give/receive pleasure from it. What a rush that would be
Absolutely LOVE this, I so wish I was younger to feel more excited about playing such a role- I say this only BECAUSE my husbands LUST was raging MORE THEN in comparison to now, so it would have so much more FUN.
So very many younger women could benefit from something like this.
SA - how is your son's religion so extreme/different from your own? He's only 21? I'm intrigued...
Me & husband has been going to a particular church since he was about 1, off & on ...when we 1st started , I got REALLY into it, going 3 times a week, but still I was always chasing some damn spiritual plateau, that I could never attain anyway. Many spoke in tongues, some danced in the isles, I felt they were better than me. Bla bla bla. Why do us women always compare, I even did it in religion. What a mind trip.
LOVED the "teaching" aspect of this Paster, very OPEN . I kid you not, our very 1st visit there, , he spoke on being healed of Hemrooids & how he had a Pornography addiction & God healed him of both, and I thought to myself "darn, this Paster is cool -talking about sex & his A-hole at the same time, never expected that!" How could you not be intigrued! . ...and the music was like going to a Rock concert, the people so friendly, I was sucked in... husband could take it or leave it -but he was always by my side . But slowly, ever so slowly, I started to see how the majority of them SEPARATE the world and themselves in a very extreme
way. Not all of coarse, I enjoyed the more liberal ones and picked the minds of the more extreme -when I had opportunity.
This is what I call a Holiness Church, they almost appear to WORSHIP scripture, the WORD is power, life, the answer, if you deviate from that, you are opening yourself up to discipline from God & to be confronted by your sisters & brothers in the church. Even if you speak negatively, it may come "upon you". Now I felt this was rather rediculous from the start but I remained. I would go the Bible studies & bring up many difficult questions. BUt yet, I was never
fully satisfied with the answers given, it warred with my mind more -which caused more questions! I should have just been having more sex with my husband instead of trying to figure God out, another hinderance to my marraige back then, always reading religious books.
But yet, I LIKED the people , they were good people, I made friends, and I still ......loved the music . Later in life went back to this church -more because I missed the atmosphere /seeing those friends every week ...and my son just found his place in that Youth Group (VERY FUN, do MANY THINGS) , he found his nitch I guess, he was shy in school, although a great kid, kinda awkward and just like his father, not much of a mean bone in his body, didn't appreciate the idiots in school, had friends but they were more idiot prone than what he was comfortable with. By then I was on christian forums questioning so many things, I even got banned for bringing certain things up - I was slowly loosing my religion. I was open about it every step of the way.
His youth paster encouraged him to sing, helped him with the guitar , MANY good things came out of us going there, for this I am VERY VERY THANKFUL. Wonderful friends, good attitude, my son is ALWAYS happy, (not a put on either), I have had people stop me in the church who hardly knew me to tell me how he inspires them. Much of this was the church's influence , I will never deny that. BUt I have joked with him & told him...if he turns into a Fundamentalist, I will throw him out of the house. He just laughs.
But do I think they take morality too far, yes I do, Homeschooling is very much encouraged, they feel we need to separate (my son is terribly against this -I feel similar -as what good does that do to take all the moral kids out of school -how can that influence?) , they feel it's wrong to listen to any secular rock music, they teach "courting". I could go on and on. My son is against watching R rated movies also, I can see that, but some of them have a powerful message - I have encouraged him to sit down & watch a few I felt he could learn from. He listens to me. Hasn't corrupted him yet ! He argues with me too -but this is good! I want that.