Originally Posted by holmes
How do you share household chores.... do you share them or does the wife do it all?
In my opinion, this fully depends on whether the wife works or not. IF the wife is working full time as the husband is, these chores likely need split, sit down and talk , hang the duties on the Fridge and commit to fullfilling them so less arguing about who needs to do what comes up
If a full time stay at home MOM.... (my situation) this is how it works, accually I have a couple on the side jobs but only a few hours a week so they do not count ... I do it ALL and feel very strongly that IS my place, I want to have EVERYTHING done so when my husband walks through that door every day -- he can relax, eat a decent meal and concetrate on those things I can not do (working on house repairs, car repairs, manly stuff), plus help the kids with homework, he is better at this than me, and have more time for ME (I have my selfish motives too!) .
I work at home while he is at work- plus I play on here so obviously I have alot of extra time to spare around my mundane chores. This is about Time management & Multi-tasking.
At one time we had 4 kids ages 6 & under , I used cloth dipaers, we didn't even own a dryer, and I hung them all on the line , and & still managed just fine. I have heard wives with only one child complain, sorry, I don't get it. I can not in a million years understand how that could be a problem unless she has a disability or is sick somehow.
My husband very much appreciates the work I do, I also try to mow our lawn (over 3 acres of grass) to save him the hassle but sometimes I break belts hitting rocks and tree stumps and create more work for him -so he tells me he would rather me wait !
How do you handle the money.... is it seperate or does one person handle the finances?
Is one of you a Spender & One a saver with disagreements on purchases & amounts of spending? IN our house, we are both Savers, He makes every dime (except for the little cash I bring in for FUN) and I handle every dime of it.. I pay all the bills, I decide what CDs to put our $$ in, I research what we want to buy - read reviews and let him know what I feel is best, we talk about every big purchase before we buy it. Husband does not make alot of $$ for our family size so we MUST be frugal or it could get us into trouble. It is one thing we never had too much trouble doing, kinda a habit since we married.
Does someone have the final say on things in the relationship if you do not agree?
Every marraige partner should be assertive about their needs & wants in a healthy manner....and in doing their part, listen very very carefully to your partner when he /she is expressing their feelings....
Good article here about using the "I" before the 'YOU" in expressing which --so it comes off as LESS of an attack, more about the person themselves than spewing BLAME and setting them on the defenseive. 'You' and 'I': The Art of Communication in Marital Life – II - Islamweb.net -English
Both need to hear each other out and feel fully heard. A little fighting / conflict is OK but it is never healthy to have one partner comepletely run over the other and shut thier needs out. Excellent article on communication here >>>> Imagine Hope Counseling Group - Our Resources - PLANTING THE SEED OF INTERDEPENDENCE