| | confused about my marriage
Hi there, I'm new here so sorry if this is a total repeat of what 100's of others have already said.
I'm newly married, 1 year recently. I'm married to a wonderful man, he's kind, sensitive, funny, intelligent the list could go on forever.... the problem is I'm not so sure that we are right together.
Our relationship lacks any passion, we just amble along through everything. He feels like my best friend but nothing more. We never fight, we have great respect for each other and I can't figure out what is wrong with me that I'm not head over heals in love with him.
I got a ton of pressure to marry him from my family, it was such intense pressure that I didn't have to the clarity of mind to stop and really asses whether I wanted to marry him or if I just wanted to get married to get my family off my back. Which I know makes me an awful person and wife.
I'm not really attracted to him, he feels very small and feminine, I thought it was just me feeling insecure because I'm tall so I kept losing weight to feel smaller and smaller next to him but it didn't change anything. He very rarely likes to be intimate where as I seem to need the intimacy far more regularly and I end up feeling rejected when he doesn't return my advances. Everything he does is so thought through and calculated I feel restricted and like I can't do anything spontaneous. The relationship is so 'safe' that I don't feel that I can be hurt by him because I can't find anything that fires me up enough to deeply fall for him.
I know that marriage is about far more than passion and I'm so lucky to find a kind man that is sensible and loves me so much. But I need to figure out a way to stop myself being bored in my marriage before he starts to notice that I'm not happy.
I need some advice from couples that have been through this and made it. I won't leave him or cheat on him, he is a wonderful man and I want to change to be a better wife, I just can't figure out how to do it and I don't want to talk to him about this as it will hurt him unnecessarily.