| | Re: Women Pursuing Men..in the marital bedroom vs in Dating ...is this a double stand
It’s my experience that women do court their husbands after they’re married.
It’s that courtship dance. In us humans it’s the female that has the majority of the moves. In essence she signals her availability because she is attracted to the male. And it’s up to the male to see and recognise her signals and to know how to respond to them. But I think most of us men when hit by the signals are still at the grunt stage! In that we go a bit stupid, sometimes. There’s an exceptionally attractive woman in the restaurant just down the road from me. When I walk by, if no one else is around who can see she gives me this most gorgeous smile, it lights the day up. Fabulous stuff.
I got many courtship signals from my wife while we were courting. There is one I think that many men just don’t recognise. It’s the “I’ll let him catch me” signal. All the while I thought it was me doing the chasing that was keeping us together. Now I know if for just one time she didn’t let me catch her it would have been over.
And even after we were married I thought it was always me doing the initiating as far as sex was concerned. And being the one with the higher sex drive it was (I think!). But I came to recognise my wife did initiate sex. But her initiating was by very subtle courtship signals and I reckon I missed lots of them by not being aware (mind somewhere else), some got through to my via my subconscious and others I actually consciously observed and interpreted correctly.
What I am trying to say is, especially to the men here, is that women do most definitely initiate sex. Some women will initiate in the same way as a typical man, and that is very openly and direct, there can be no mistake/misunderstanding about what she wants. But I think the vast majority of women are exceptionally subtle about their courtship signals, so much so that a lot of men simply don’t see them.
For me it is most definitely up to the man to keep himself in such ways and to behave in such ways that his wife is attracted to him in at least as much as she was before they were married. But shouldn’t it be more than that? Isn’t it after marriage that as men we really “prove” ourselves? That that man the woman gave herself to based on what she interpreted as his capabilities of taking care of her, most especially when she was bearing, giving birth to and looking after his children let alone everything else not associated with children, don’t we then prove through our actions we really are the man she dreamed of?
And if we do that as well as romance her, then most surely our wife will continue courting us all the way through our marriage and we’ll have as much sex, good food, comfort and as much of those magical endorphins that any man could ever wish for and she’ll just keep on letting us catch her.