Originally Posted by Catherine602
one why in the world do you call the fact that you wanted her to share something other than vaginal sex with you a freebie.
You and your wife seem to be hung up on counting out orgasms like kids - one for you and one for me.......
I think you have to reframe the way you both view sex in your relationship. I will use my husband and I as an example. He is HD and I am lower. Sometimes I am up for affection but not for oral for me or vaginal sex. Naturally, when we cuddle he gets aroused and I give him a happy ending.
I got what I needed and I give to him because i want him to feel as happy and satisfied as i feel and I appreciate him. He never ask and sometimes he refuses if he feels that I am obviously too sick or too tired to move.
That's what you are talking about right? So where is the freebie??? I need affection from the man I love. It's probably not as strong a need as a man's for sex but, I feel loved, calm, de-stressed and connected to my husband when I get my quota of affection.
Do you think you could see your relationship as an intimate shared life with the person you love? I think if you both look at it from that standpoint, you will avoid counting orgasms like beans.
What do you think?
The thought process does sound like score keeping. My W and I have never made a habit of that and have had a happy sex life our entire marriage.
Some times she does, sometimes I do and sometimes we do together. Its all good. Sometimes I give her oral and get her off and then just walk away just to show her that I'm into her for more than my gratification.
Sometimes I get magnificent road head at the most unexpected times for the same reason.