This is long but indulge me please.
Dose anyone besides me notice a pattern? When women like this poster ask for assistance with the problems that they are having connecting sexually with their husbands, they are drummed off the forum by bitter angry men.
In contrast, when men come with the issues with their wives, they receive support and sympathetic advice form both men and women.
The nature of women is that we need communication and respect in order to feel receptive. That is sex for us. When we don't get what we need, our reaction is just like a man's. We don't feel loved. Men have a less sensitive sex drive and are not usually adversely effected in the same way. However, if they are rejected they feel unloved. That is sex for men.
Women cannot be male-like in their sexuality no more so than men can be woman-like. However, men can adapt and still have satisfying sex.
Why would one gender be treated with kid gloves and the other like pariahs when they are asking for help with the same type of problem?
I have a theory.
The hostility of some posters display to women with sexual withdrawal is reflection of the problematic nature of their marriage. There is no way that they are not as angry and bitter and dismissive of their wives problems at home.
I find it hard to believe that these men are communicative, really hear what their wives are telling them, and make an attempt to love them the way they need. I think they see their wives needs as an attempt to control and jumping through hoops.
They don't understand that attentive communication and respect is part of sex for women. In essence, they deny their wives intimacy yet still expect sex from her.
I know someone is going to say - why cant women have sex like men. Women enjoy sex as much as men but they enjoy sex the way their natures dictate.
Men on the other hand are more robust and adaptable. They orgasm easier than women and more consistently. They are less bothered by distractions. When they adapt to women, they still have their needs met.
Besides men learn from women to slow down and savor the experience from women and we learn to be comfortable and explorative with our sexuality from men.
I think most men will agree that sex with a partner they are emotionally connected with motivates them to please her. There seems to be a sense of accomplishment and a goal for men in love to be a good lover.
But a good lover for a woman is not just technique and orgasms, it's the general emotional closeness and being heard by her partner.
