bandit0000

Hi,
This is my 1st post so would appreciate your help.
I found out some time ago that my bf of 13 years had been contacting via internet a woman in America (we live in the UK) & they had also been telephoning each other. Obviously I was not happy about this but he said she was more of a pen pal & he found her life interesting.

Two weeks ago my bf went on a stag party (bachelor party for the Americans) for 3 nts & lo & behold somehow via the computer I found out he was actually meeting up with her.

So they spent 3 nts together in an hotel. He said they had sex twice, but he did not find her attractive as she had lots of loose skin? and was not very good looking. My answer to this; why did you sleep with her then, his answer; I'm a man.

He has spoken to her once since they returned explaining that I had found out, also she had told her husband & that basically it was causing too much heartbreak.
So what do you think, I love him, he says he loves & adores me, but it is just something he had to get out of his system & that basically he wanted his cake & eat it (at least he was honest there).
I think I am kind of weird, because since I found out, I want to be with him more & am quite clingy. I feel stupid but cannot help it.

My friend is really annoyed with me because she says I should have left straight away, but it is not always that easy.

Obviously the trust has gone & I am fed up of checking the computer every morning to see if he has contacted her. Do you think there is any hope? Or is it once a cheat, always a cheat.
I am 36 & he is 45, no children.
I would love some male input as well as ladies.
Many thanks.