Amplexor

Dear Bandit

This is a perfect example of how a so called "innocent" long distance relationship can evolve into something else. Even when there are great distances involved. They may begin because the parties feels it is safe but that is a fallacy. I am so sorry for your pain. The “discover day” is a very difficult time for you and will sting for some time to come. That he supposedly came clean with you after you found out is a good thing. But once someone betrays another you must both be careful to see that it never happens again. If you have read any of my posts you will see I have very little sympathy or respect for those who cheat. But I do believe in forgiveness and a second chance for people. Since there has been a breach in your union you may want to seek counsel or spend some time to make sure each of you understands what the other is needing in your relationship. Communication will be key. If you elect to move forward with the relationship make sure he understands he is in a zero tolerance position. He must not fail in his committements to you. He must break off all communications with her forever. Trust can return but that will take time. You will need to be vigilant to make sure he is following through. And he needs to understand you must rebuild that trust and that he will have to understand your “snooping” for some time to come May I ask since you have been together for so long, why haven’t you gotten married? Seems a long time without that total commitment. My best wishes to you.