Jen S

I've struggled with this with my husband. I really want him to do that kind of thing in bed, but he just has an almost fundamental opposition to it. I don't think he's submissive so much as thoroughly unable to grasp the concept that some women want to be handled that way under the right circumstances. I wish I had a solution to it, but usually I just have to keep asking him to do it--which kind of removes the whole point of the thing.

I've had more success with getting him to try other fantasies of mine. He's very much a plain vanilla type guy so he has few out there interests of his own. But I've gotten him to try a little bit of the pink fuzzy handcuffs (on me) kind of thing. Sex toys he also goes along with now, but originally he was really intimidated by the whole thing.

Other fantasies I have like threesomes are ones I've read best stay just verbal fantasies so I'm fine with that. I want to try exhibitionism at some point but I have to figure out how to do that without hurting his feelings or getting him too upset with me. The last thing I want to do at this point is bring up some dumb fantasy and have him hurt.