Originally Posted by Sawney Beane
IIRC, Athol Kay has some stuff about this over on Married man sex life. Might be worth a look.
Keep in mind that your husband probably spent all of his formative years having the idea that you do NOT do rough sex knocked into him with the psychological equivalent of a lump hammer, though. It might take a while...
This is EXACTLY the problem for him, he was raised in a fundamentalist Christian home. The idea of laying a hand on a woman in anything but a loving, respectful way is just incomprehensible to him. Luckily he left the religion as a young man, before we met, and our sex life has not suffered at all. He has had no hang ups, but this might be a line he just can't cross.
I've been reading MMSL for a little while, and I've read his suggestions. The only one of his suggestions I haven't tried is to pick some porn of that variety and watch it with him, but that really makes me extremely vervous. If he totally hates it then I've pushed too far too fast and I can't un-go there. Well, the only other suggestion Athol had that I haven't used is to just get him to read MMSL, and I'm on the fence about that too. Could be a good thing, could go real bad real fast.
I guess probably the best suggestion is to just start slow and try to gradually ease him into it, although I could die of old age by the time we get even close to where I hope to go. Without giving TMI I'll just say we've been stuck in the same spot in the shallow end of the pool for a while now.