| | Re: Getting my nice guy husband on board with my fantasy...
In addition to telling him what you'd like along the lines of rough sex, also let him see you respond in a positive way during sex when he does something that approaches what you'd like (even distantly.)
Case in point: Since beginning our R, my wife has been embracing her own wilder side, enjoying rougher sex. In the past, we've indulged in some light bondage and spanking, but we went out and bought some bondage ropes from the local sex shop. She had a small, light whip-like crop, but got a larger one. More along the lines of my suggestion, though, in the middle of the action, my hand moved across her neck, and she gasped and moaned in a very receptive way. Afterwards, I asked her about it - she said that she wanted me to choke her a bit. Now, that's completely counter to any thoughts I'd ever had on how to treat a woman. But, safe word in place, we tried it soon after, and she quite enjoyed it. I still don't get it...does nothing for me (except seeing how she responds to it). It's made us both more receptive to cutting loose a little more than we have in the past.
You both need to be on board, but if you let him see that you enjoy an "entry level" variation on something, then let him know that your reaction will continue to escalate as he gets closer to the rougher acts you're interested in, he may be a little more encouraged to indulge you than just from hearing you say you might like it.
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