sigma1299

I'mAllIn - My wife tells me the same thing you are telling your H and as has been said - it's a hard paradigm to change. My hard wired programming to never harm a woman or even be disrespectful makes it an extremely uncomfortable place for me to go which we all know is not conducive to good sex. It's not that I don't want to - I'll give anything a try that's important to her. We seem to wind up in this same place where I'll try lightly smacking her on the butt or pinching her nipples a little harder and she'll say it's good but we seem to get stuck there. I don't know if she doesn't know what she wants beyond that, if she doesn't know how to say it, or just thinks its my job to figure it out. The thing is it's such a paradigm shift that I need some hard core (no pun intended) encouragement and direction at least the first time or two. Once I can get some idea of what the playing field looks like I'll take it from there but it's just so different from the way I've been programmed that I need a couple of road signs to start.

So my advice would be to talk to him and when he does something right let him know - over the top - make sure he knows you like what he's doing. It may defeat the purpose a time or two but maybe he'll catch on and take over once he builds just a little comfort. IMO the safe word is a good idea, I asked my wife about this and she blew it off. If we had it in place I would feel much better about pushing the boundaries with less direction from her.