Originally Posted by Lucy

It’s been now over a year that I’m married. Everything, at first, was good except one thing. I can not feel an orgasm during sex. I thought that it’s because he’s the first and only person I’ve ever been with and perhaps I need some time to understand and learn about my own body…but that was just a stupid and naïve though…so now I lie to him every time pretending that I enjoy it. I don’t know why but one thing led to another and now I can’t tell him; I know this may sound childish but it upsets me just thinking what if I never feel it when he’s in me. I do get an orgasm when we try different thing but never when he’s in me. But that’s not all… it started last year, we kind of started having sex less and less… two months ago I accidentally found out that he chat’s with a few girls online and they send him pictures of them etc… it’s 80% sex chat and 20% daily things. Now I’m assuming that it’s been going on for 3 to 5 month not long but still I was in shock. One day he forgot to sign off from his e-mail account and when I wanted to shot down the comp. I noticed his e-mail was still signed on, and curiosity got into me so I opened it and red every letter…he was having virtual romance with them. One of these girls he called what he used to call me, ‘his queen’. He never mentioned to anyone them that he is married; he sent them pictures that I took of him. I told him everything that day. He promised me that he’ll stop it; that he didn’t mean to hurt me… I try to trust him but I keep thinking about it. What if he couldn’t stop it? I’m so confused…I love him very much and he says that he loves me even more, that he can’t live without me, but yet it seems too me that he’s pushing me away from him. We still are not having sex that often and the times that we do have sex, it’s always me starting it. I still don’t feel orgasm when he’s in me. I’m really worried about that but I can’t tell him. I can’t say that I’ve been lieing all this time. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. What should I do? Is this problem coming from me or him? I don’t know who to talk to. I can’t go to Dr. because he’ll find out.