You sound like someone who wants their marriage to work...and unfortunately since you don't think your wife is doing that it HAS to start with you. It sounds like it might be time for an ultimatum - either she starts being actively involved in your marriage (including going to counseling with you) or there isn't a point in having a "marriage" anymore. And you have to mean it...you can't let her improve for a few weeks just to get you off her back and let her slip back in. I'm not saying be mean about it (which is where counseling will help - in communicating this).
I'm glad you swallowed some of that pride and called her