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Unsure in Seattle · 11-30-2011, 02:56 PM

Well-it's difficult when you learn that someone has resented you for stuff in the past that you don't remember or even didn't know about. How can you correct something if you don't know about it?

I said to my WS, in regards to communication one time, that I didn't understand why she seemed to think that I was some kind of insensitive ogre that she couldn't share with. Her deadpan reponse was that one time, years ago, she brought to me a problem at work, and I snapped at her about it.

We're all human, and we make mistakes... I instantly apologized but I happened to remember the incident she brought up and calmly pointed out that the reason that she got snapped at in that particular instance is that SHE was the one that was being very, very insensitive; she didn't realize (I guess) that the problem she had come to complain to me about was something where she didn't have enough to do at her job (we worked at the same place, in different departments, and she had been recently transferred/semi-promoted out of my dep't), while I was swamped over doing the work that she herself had used to do (picking up the slack in her absence, in other words). Since we didn't hash it out initially, the festering problem laid there dormant for both of us.

11-30-2011, 02:56 PM	#16 (permalink)
Unsure in Seattle Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 596	Re: My Basic Expectations Well-it's difficult when you learn that someone has resented you for stuff in the past that you don't remember or even didn't know about. How can you correct something if you don't know about it? I said to my WS, in regards to communication one time, that I didn't understand why she seemed to think that I was some kind of insensitive ogre that she couldn't share with. Her deadpan reponse was that one time, years ago, she brought to me a problem at work, and I snapped at her about it. We're all human, and we make mistakes... I instantly apologized but I happened to remember the incident she brought up and calmly pointed out that the reason that she got snapped at in that particular instance is that SHE was the one that was being very, very insensitive; she didn't realize (I guess) that the problem she had come to complain to me about was something where she didn't have enough to do at her job (we worked at the same place, in different departments, and she had been recently transferred/semi-promoted out of my dep't), while I was swamped over doing the work that she herself had used to do (picking up the slack in her absence, in other words). Since we didn't hash it out initially, the festering problem laid there dormant for both of us.