Originally Posted by Panera4
OK, HerToo, I know you are right. It's so hard to actually do it though. He says he wants to work on the marriage. How do I go about that if I shut him out? What did your wife do to shake you up during your affair? I feel as if I will lose him forever if I don't talk to him at all.
So much of your story sounds like mine and I am sorry for the pain you must be feeling.
My wife left me 28 days ago and my emotions have been all over the place. She stops by once a week to gather more stuff. Oddly by your screen name we have had a few lunches together at Panera where one of them she stroked my hair and held my hand. Speak of sending mixed signals. Of course, I Love her, but she keeps hurting me with this moments of hope. I have been doing the 180 about 60%, but am determined to do it 100% now. Still will be tough as we are doing MC together and I want to be open and work on it with her if there is hope. But I need to get my dignity back.
This has been going on for 10 months now after she said she wanted a divorce. I found she had been having regular lunches and emailing a younger guy at work where the grass has been looking greener. Claims they are just friends...
I have been 100% committed to the marriage and she claims to want to repair the marriage, but she is only committed to working on it less than 10% now. I have been trying to give her space, but nothing seems to make her want to show she is really trying or admitting to any of the problem.
Nothing else has worked, so 180 is my advice or you will be plan B like I have been for months.
Best wishes and hang in there!