Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

omega · 12-06-2011, 12:21 PM

I agree with the I'mInLoveWithMyHubby, leaving your husband in order to adopt is an extreme reaction. What if a 2nd one isn't enough? What if a 3rd one isn't enough? How big is a "large family"?

"How many children" is a pre-marriage question. Once you're married, obviously this can change, but it sounds like you've always known you wanted a large family - did he know that? Why did you get married to him if he didn't also want a large family?

Is the issue with adoption or with the number of children? What I mean is, is your husband against having more than one child, or against adopting more than one child? If it's the former, you are "stuck" - both spouses have to want a child. If it's the latter, you may be able to "convince" him that adopting another child isn't so different from having a biological child. But if you pressure him you will create enormous resentment that will harm your marriage.

It is not an easy position to be in but as a wife, you do have a responsibility to fight for your marriage - not to run away when you don't get everything you want. If he wanted lots of children, and you didn't, would you consider it "right" for him to leave you to go have them with someone else? Marriage comes first before children.

12-06-2011, 12:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
omega Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 562	Re: I really want another child, he doesn't I agree with the I'mInLoveWithMyHubby, leaving your husband in order to adopt is an extreme reaction. What if a 2nd one isn't enough? What if a 3rd one isn't enough? How big is a "large family"? "How many children" is a pre-marriage question. Once you're married, obviously this can change, but it sounds like you've always known you wanted a large family - did he know that? Why did you get married to him if he didn't also want a large family? Is the issue with adoption or with the number of children? What I mean is, is your husband against having more than one child, or against adopting more than one child? If it's the former, you are "stuck" - both spouses have to want a child. If it's the latter, you may be able to "convince" him that adopting another child isn't so different from having a biological child. But if you pressure him you will create enormous resentment that will harm your marriage. It is not an easy position to be in but as a wife, you do have a responsibility to fight for your marriage - not to run away when you don't get everything you want. If he wanted lots of children, and you didn't, would you consider it "right" for him to leave you to go have them with someone else? Marriage comes first before children.