stav

I think your husband is just insecure. His parents are both gone, and you are his only anchor in life. The closest person to him. He is scared he will lose you to your mother. In fact you even say yourself that if there was a choice, he would lose. He knows this, and it terrifies him.

You don't say if you love your husband, and it worries me that you would choose your mother so easily over him. You chose to make a life with this man, and while I understand that your Mother needs you, I am sure she knows that your marriage, and the rest of your life after she has gone, is important too. Do you?

Perhaps when you are not with your mum, you could make a concious effort not to talk about her and her problems, and spend more time talking about the two of you, and spending quality time together.

If the time you have together is loving and centered on the two of you (any kids?) Then maybe he won't resent so much, the time you are away from him.