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CWM0842 · 12-08-2011, 10:58 AM

Yeah things were great when we first started dating. It was already a problem when we got married but w/o divulging too much, she was still going through changing phases in life and said once she was settled and working her stress would be better and she'd be more interested. In a sense I feel like I have been bamboozled because she continually told me, "I'm stressed cause of X, when this phase is over I'll feel like it more." That has never come.

No health problems beyond her depression, but that's always been under control with meds. We both exercise a lot and are in good shape. I worry I may have smothered her when this first became a problem, but not anymore. Now I am becoming indifferent and will go for a while without really trying cause I've been rejected so much.

I also worry the nice guy thing/caving too much could've been previously an issue. I don't do that anymore though, esp cause sex has been cut off for so long. I pretty much do what I want. It's possible the nice guy dynamic had been around long enough it'll take time to reverse.

We definitely date- go out to eat, movies, go on long walks, go out of town, go to social events. We're still very physically affectionate, her at least as much, just no sex. I can't think of anything left to do. She still says so many heartfelt things about how she loves me and I am so great. But she'll say, "you've made sex such a big issue in our marriage." Of course, we never have it. She won't accept that sex is very important to males and connected to their self-worth. I feel like I need to force her to read stuff on the issue.

12-08-2011, 10:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
CWM0842 Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 56	Re: Getting Backed Up Yeah things were great when we first started dating. It was already a problem when we got married but w/o divulging too much, she was still going through changing phases in life and said once she was settled and working her stress would be better and she'd be more interested. In a sense I feel like I have been bamboozled because she continually told me, "I'm stressed cause of X, when this phase is over I'll feel like it more." That has never come. No health problems beyond her depression, but that's always been under control with meds. We both exercise a lot and are in good shape. I worry I may have smothered her when this first became a problem, but not anymore. Now I am becoming indifferent and will go for a while without really trying cause I've been rejected so much. I also worry the nice guy thing/caving too much could've been previously an issue. I don't do that anymore though, esp cause sex has been cut off for so long. I pretty much do what I want. It's possible the nice guy dynamic had been around long enough it'll take time to reverse. We definitely date- go out to eat, movies, go on long walks, go out of town, go to social events. We're still very physically affectionate, her at least as much, just no sex. I can't think of anything left to do. She still says so many heartfelt things about how she loves me and I am so great. But she'll say, "you've made sex such a big issue in our marriage." Of course, we never have it. She won't accept that sex is very important to males and connected to their self-worth. I feel like I need to force her to read stuff on the issue.