ahubby

Im writing to you to get both a collective opinion and advice. My wife and I have been together for over ten years and our sex life is pathetic, at least i think it is. We do have a few kids and over the past couple of years, sex, what was in my opinion poor before, has gotten worse. Now i know kids can have a large impact on the sexual relationship between a couple but i wanted to reiterate that sex for my wife has always been as she says not enjoyable and thus our sex life has always been sub-par. As you can imagine we have talked about this issue over the years and she never has an explanation about why she doesnt like sex. She usually gives answers like, "I just dont find it enjoyable" and is passive when trying to discuss further. She has never let me give her an orgasm nor has she done anything interactive during sex. We have tried counseling but it never has gotten down to the root of the issue although the counselor thought it could be a control issue on her part. I have thought and asked her is it me and i do believe her when she says its not. Lately sex has gotten really pathetic though. When she does give in to my asking for sex (about once or twice a month) it is usually done so with stipulations of no kissing or much touching. When i try to discuss this with her and tell her this situation isnt normal for a married couple she says, and believes, that most married people are in the same situation as we are and it is completely normal. Im treated as though my requests for a healthy sex life is abnormal. I find that hard to believe which is one of the reasons im posting.

I am a very sexual person and enjoy sex a lot. It deeply bothers me to not be intimate with my wife. I want her to enjoy sex and would do anything she would want sexually. I love her very much and feel this is the one thing in our relationship that is wrong.

Any incite or advice would be appreciated.