| | Re: When do you realize it's never going to work and let it go?
Wow Kissjo. That's a lot your dealing with. I do understand. Both of his sons live far away as well. When we first got married, I decided that I'd put forth the best effort to not only gain a relationship with his children, but also to make them a regular part of our lives. Oops…don't know what I was thinking. The youngest child's mother is an absolute LUNATIC. That woman is completely irrational and ridiculous. She refuses to allow my husband to even know his child. She disappeared at one point and I decided to hire a private detective to find her so that we could make an effort to establish a relationship with their son. OMG, when we found that fool she started tripping out and didn't want us calling her. After that, I decided I wanted nothing to do with that situation AT ALL. Definitely too much drama for me. I just pray that when the son gets old enough to make his own decisions, he'll come looking for his father. In the meantime, my husband pays his child support every month for a son he doesn't even know.
The oldest son's mother is an absolute bum. She doesn't work (never had a job in her life), lives in a trailer that I swear is being held up by one nail, never graduated from high school, and she's an absolute leech. I tried to be friendly with her for the sake of the child, but she had an attitude. My thinking is if she doesn't want my husband anymore, why is she acting funky towards me? Anyhow, I ignored her ridiculousness and still tried to establish a relationship with their son. I arranged for him to spend a summer with us once and when the boy came he was so rude. He eventually told his dad that the mother told him to behave that way towards me. We fixed that situation really quickly and the boy began behaving with at least respect.
During that time, my husband made me feel like an outsider. He would spend all of his time with his son and seriously didn't acknowledge me at all. The only way I could spend time with my husband is if I literally sat in the kid's room with them. He even slept with the kid every night because he was always "scared." That summer was the worst. I ended up leaving on the weekends and travelling to my hometown to be with my family. It was pointless to stay there.
Now I have no desire to know any of his children. As a matter of fact, I stay completely out of that. The son's mother that we do deal with is plain ridiculous. She actually sent my husband a text recently asking him to pay her phone bill. WTH!!! I was flabbergasted. She could've pretended as though she needed money for their son, but instead now she wants my husband to pay her bills. When I tried to call her to give her a piece of my mind, my husband accused me of trying to be confrontational. He said to simply ignore her because that's what he does. I don't know…it's all just a big mess.
In terms of bills, I pay for everything and it's been that way since day 1 of our marriage. He simply reaps the benefits. I've concluded it's going to be this way as long as I stay married to my husband, which isn't ideal at all.
Sex, please…what is that??? I haven't had sex in ages. I have no desire to. I'm not sexually attracted to my husband so when he tries I get irritated and tell him I'm tired or sick. I can't do it. There's no foreplay at all. The same positions, the same expressions, the same the same the same. I used to try different things like role playing etc., but that got old too. I was the only one trying to enhance our sex life. Now I'm to the point where I'm over sex altogether. Besides, he doesn't make me feel beautiful at all, I do everything for us, he's an opinionative person who doesn't do anything for me, but instead watches sports from the moment he gets off work until he goes to bed…I can go on forever. How can he expect me to be sexually attracted to him when this is all that I get??????