daddymikey1975

approach is going to be the key. if his mother was the one complaining (even about trivial things) then when he hears the "wee need to talk" speech he turns on his 'ignore machine'..

I speak from experience. I do the same thing when my wife wants to talk..

In this scenario you should learn how to lead from behind. instead of just being 'firmly or brutally open and honest' you may have to sugar coat it a bit for him to receive it..

Something like "sweety, I know that we made (this) a joke before and honestly it was funny then, however i'm feeling a bit less in the marriage cuz I'm not currently working and contributing financially. So when WE make this joke to friends, acquaintenances, or whomever it kinda makes me feel inferior and makes me sad because of the other things i'm currently not contributing to the marriage. I would feel much better if we could please put this joke away for another time."

I bet he'd listen and respect you for being honest. IF he knew that you were already feeling (and for lack of a better word) 'inadequate' and that the perpetuating joke compounded the reminder that 'your not contributing' I'm fairly certain he would receive it...

I hope this helps..

(no, your not being overly sensitive.. but please remember to tell hm sweetly that you love his criticism, his jokes, etc, but since you have some negative esteem about yourself this joke isn't so tasteful and use this approach for any situation that comes up)

mike