| | Re: Remorseful Husband seeking strength...
You can't let her cheat on you. If she really needs to be with another man, then you need to divorce. I can promise you that no amount of extra-marital involvement will heal your marriage. Instead of each of you having 1 oz of pain, after she cheated, you would both have 4 ozs of pain.
I looked again but didn't see anything about marriage counseling. That's a must after something like this. Bring up her feelings (which are normal albeit destructive) to the counselor.
As a betrayed spouse, I can tell you that there is a part when you are angry that makes you want to run away or go screw someone else. That part of me loses any attraction as soon as I think about all the pain this whole thing caused, to everyone in my family. Her being intimate with another guy might feel nice for a few minutes, but when it was all said and done she will feel guilty, you will feel hurt, and none of your problems will be solved.
Don't appease her in this, don't feel like a hypocrite for saying no. If she must do this, tell her that you will have to end it, as painful as that will be, because you now know from personal experience that a marriage can't last with a third person involved.