Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - What did it mean to you for your wife to take your surname when you married?
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post #50 of (permalink) Old 12-14-2011, 01:03 PM
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 4,714
Re: What did it mean to you for your wife to take your surname when you married?

Originally Posted by tobio View Post
Hi guys!

We have booked a date for our wedding next year, yay!

Things are going well. I have been thinking about his wish for me to change my name to his when we marry.

I have always been adamant I want to keep my surname, and he is damant he wants me to have his name.

All my kids have two surnames, mine then their dad's. So they all have my surname and our two (youngest kids) obviously have his name too.

He'd like for us to change the youngest two's to just his surname. He feels very strongly and gets really cross that I want to keep my name.

I'm interested in hearing men's own experiences - I'm assuming the vast majority had no issue and their wife changed to your name. Any thoughts if it didn't happen like this or how you would have felt had your wife not wanted to change her name?

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Here is my answer to your question Tobio. If my wife had ever said she wants to keep her maiden name I would have felt that she wasn’t truly committed to me. That would have very negatively have affected my behaviour. In my case I am a very long term planner and a crazily committed man, I couldn’t have done what I did if I believed my wife’s thoughts about us where “temporary”. For me marriage only ever works when both spouses are 100% committed to making it work.
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