tragic

I've been looking around to try to find a place to try to work through being on the other end of this issue. So perhaps my words will help you. I have a friend that is a married man online. I've actually met his family since they have come to visit the state I live in but I've never met him or his immediately family. He is a devoted husband and loves his wife and has a perfect family.

However as we became friends online we began talking more and more and more. My husband and his spouse are fully aware of the friendship but I've had female friends that are constantly telling me that this is an affair. I've brought this to his attention many times. I've felt guilty but I've always discussed it with him. I've tried breaking it off many times and additionally I've full out told him that there is definitely something wrong in his marriage if he can spend hours and hours and hours on the computer talking to me.

I think he's finally taking a look. I believe infidelity is giving what belongs to your spouse to another person. And throughout this I've come to another conclusion as well. That wives and husbands who don't think its their marital duty to try to meet their spouses needs are really the ones who are causing online affairs.

I say this quite bluntly not to upset you but to help you. I am a noble and loyal person by nature and it would be very easy for me to simply sit back and indulge in the attention this man has given me. He loves me very much and I him. But I can't as a wife just accept this because I worry very much that she might be suffering in silence. His family likes me and I know very well that I would never cross the line. I even went so far as to find another different man to speak to online to take off some of the edge. It didn't help.

It is your job as a spouse to forge common interests together. What is the point of being married if you are not going to grow together? There's a reason this man feels more comfortable sharing things with me than he does his wife and the bottom line is that she doesn't really listen to what he's saying. She's got an agenda to deal with and expects him to go along with her. I think in a lot of ways this is something that women do when they have children. They create a plan and use their spouses as helpmates rather than being friends the way they were before they had kids.

I would suggest to you that you make a date night with your spouse to go out somewhere together no matter what. THis is not a luxury its an absolute necessity.

In my case I know very well we are right up at the edge of this not being ok and I do know that I'm not the type that would indulge in it because I consider infidelity like murder. Its not right.

But at the same time I'm only human and when my husband is basically not a conversationalist and neither is this man's wife and they are fine to chuck us off to the computer together and expect nothing to come of this then I don't know what to say.

It hurts. I don't want to be in this position. I want my husband to be the man who wants to talk to me. I love him dearly. I am sure your husband wants this woman to be you. He wants you to be the one he's talking to. So begin to make that happen and try to realized that its not just his fault that this happened.