Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - It Might Be the End

Feelingalone · 04-23-2009, 09:42 PM

Gee, what to do. This site has helped open my eyes to how much of an idiot I have been with my wife with such anxiety paralyzing me. The person I should have been confiding in the most about my fears, was the last person I wanted to burden, but the person I should have been.

I asked her out for the date this Saturday as I mentioned earlier today. Her comment was "I made plans with a girlfriend" already. I played it calm and collected and didn't say anything at the time about my disappointment. Since she hadn't told me about this it was quite a disappointment, but I took a pause.

The thing that gets me is that she assumed I would be okay with that -- me staying with our son while she went out. I just called her a while ago to say that I'm not her babysitter and that this pissed me off. I stood firm. Of course she threw some stuff back at me, but I agree that she has been looking for a response from me good, bad or otherwise. I told her I'm not going anywhere and I'm setting about to change my ways for me -- to help our relationship. Of course she said that this was after many chances previously to right the ship. She is having no empathy -- a good post that a read on another thread and am practicing for me, for us, and for all relationships. She did say that I'm not a babysitter but his father, but I said assuming that I'd be okay with this was not about being his father. I am his father but won't be doormat.

Man was I angry, but I didn't display any. Stayed pretty calm and just said I am trying to change but it takes time. Only action speaks.

Any thoughts?

04-23-2009, 09:42 PM	#17 (permalink)
Feelingalone Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: NC Posts: 1,652	Re: It Might Be the End - I Don't Know Gee, what to do. This site has helped open my eyes to how much of an idiot I have been with my wife with such anxiety paralyzing me. The person I should have been confiding in the most about my fears, was the last person I wanted to burden, but the person I should have been. I asked her out for the date this Saturday as I mentioned earlier today. Her comment was "I made plans with a girlfriend" already. I played it calm and collected and didn't say anything at the time about my disappointment. Since she hadn't told me about this it was quite a disappointment, but I took a pause. The thing that gets me is that she assumed I would be okay with that -- me staying with our son while she went out. I just called her a while ago to say that I'm not her babysitter and that this pissed me off. I stood firm. Of course she threw some stuff back at me, but I agree that she has been looking for a response from me good, bad or otherwise. I told her I'm not going anywhere and I'm setting about to change my ways for me -- to help our relationship. Of course she said that this was after many chances previously to right the ship. She is having no empathy -- a good post that a read on another thread and am practicing for me, for us, and for all relationships. She did say that I'm not a babysitter but his father, but I said assuming that I'd be okay with this was not about being his father. I am his father but won't be doormat. Man was I angry, but I didn't display any. Stayed pretty calm and just said I am trying to change but it takes time. Only action speaks. Any thoughts?