Before approaching her, might I make a crazy suggestion? Send her to a friends or relative for a full day while you play mr.mom.
If you see, in fact, that your expectations are not insanely ridiculous, you have a leg to stand on. If is more work than you imagined, you'll have a bit more understanding.
I kept the house as tidy as possible with am infant around, mind you I also worked a full time job for much of that, and my husband complained of messes... One day I left him in charge while he was off work. Not only came home to a mess, but him sleeping on the couch while our child was getting into anything and everything..
But, unfortunately... He still thought I had to be some sort of superwoman.
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My H was awesome for a day. It was tough after a week though. He would putter after me - picking up my newspaper or a glass I had planned on using later or threw in a load of laundry. But I had the kids occupied. Not so fun dragging a basket of clothes up and down three flights (split level), with a baby under your arms.
I have friends who managed, so it is possible, but I struggled so I feel some of your wife's pain. Posted via Mobile Device