Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

tragic · 03-04-2008, 08:51 AM

I hope that my perspective might help as I said I've been on the other end.

I doubt very much that men who start talking to women online do so because they want to cheat on their wives. They do so because they are stressed out and its an outlet. I don't know what to make of when someone knows the person in real life that they are talking to because I've never done that.

But I can tell you that for introverted people who don't do well in social situations the lure of online is intoxicating. Its also about control. You know that at a split second you can click x and the conversation will be over.

I think that when husbands are seeking conversation online its because the wives are not communicating with them in real life. If you have not thought there was too much wrong past the typical fighting then it might be a communication issue.

I mean its right there isn't it? The need to communicate is so strong that men are turning to others outside their life. Look at your comment that you want to talk about this with people outside your marriage.

The two married men that I have spoken too both have said at some point that the wives do not support their thinking needs. Women are usually feelers and men are thinkers. Sometimes men just need someone they can say anything to. Its a natural trap.

I suggest that if you notice both you and nurse have children and while you were taking care of the children and family life he was off taking care of himself.

Its selfish of the husband to seek out this fullfillment this way but I don't think most men want to go this route.

I do think that most men love their wives more than their wives love them. So I don't think its about not being in love with the wife but rather about not being happy with their life, their personal life. And not being able to tell you about it because you would get hurt.

The date night, especially when you have kids is really important. Take a night a week and go out. I will tell you that from my experience on the other end that when the man I was talking too went out on a date with the wife he was less talkative with me.

I don't speak for all women online but if I can help you any way I can I would like to because it will give me a place to put my energies rather than talking to him. If you have any questions I'll try to answer them.

03-04-2008, 08:51 AM	#9 (permalink)
tragic Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 8	Re: Emotional Infidelity online I hope that my perspective might help as I said I've been on the other end. I doubt very much that men who start talking to women online do so because they want to cheat on their wives. They do so because they are stressed out and its an outlet. I don't know what to make of when someone knows the person in real life that they are talking to because I've never done that. But I can tell you that for introverted people who don't do well in social situations the lure of online is intoxicating. Its also about control. You know that at a split second you can click x and the conversation will be over. I think that when husbands are seeking conversation online its because the wives are not communicating with them in real life. If you have not thought there was too much wrong past the typical fighting then it might be a communication issue. I mean its right there isn't it? The need to communicate is so strong that men are turning to others outside their life. Look at your comment that you want to talk about this with people outside your marriage. The two married men that I have spoken too both have said at some point that the wives do not support their thinking needs. Women are usually feelers and men are thinkers. Sometimes men just need someone they can say anything to. Its a natural trap. I suggest that if you notice both you and nurse have children and while you were taking care of the children and family life he was off taking care of himself. Its selfish of the husband to seek out this fullfillment this way but I don't think most men want to go this route. I do think that most men love their wives more than their wives love them. So I don't think its about not being in love with the wife but rather about not being happy with their life, their personal life. And not being able to tell you about it because you would get hurt. The date night, especially when you have kids is really important. Take a night a week and go out. I will tell you that from my experience on the other end that when the man I was talking too went out on a date with the wife he was less talkative with me. I don't speak for all women online but if I can help you any way I can I would like to because it will give me a place to put my energies rather than talking to him. If you have any questions I'll try to answer them.