This might be a weird one for some of you, but maybe you can help me...
I really don't know how much help I expect to get in an online forum, but I need to make a decision so I am calling out for guidance... I am married to a beautiful woman that treats me good, yet I feel a longing to go out on my own.
Here are all the current positives:
- she's beautiful (model hot)
- she loves me
- she'll do anything for me
- she puts up with all my crap
- we have a long history together
- she knows me well
- we have similar interests
- we have a good relationship together (we get along great, think alike, have fun together, don't fight a lot, etc.)
Sounds like an ideal relationship right? That is why this is so hard and may seem very odd to some of you. Even with all those great things listed above:
- I feel an urge to go out on my own (I've had this feeling for years). It is not because I want to mess around or be with someone else specifically - it is literally an urge just to be solo freely roaming the world.
- I'm not sure that I love her in the soulmate kind of way (or if that even exists). But I do love her as a person and I don't want to hurt her. I care enough about her that I'd almost rather stay with her than hurt her by leaving her (regardless of how I feel).
I feel like I am a free spirit and destined to travel alone on my own path, but I don't want to destroy what I have built up with my wife or our potential future together.
Maybe I will choose to leave her to go alone on my own path, only to realize what I lost and it will be too late.
Or maybe I will stay and regret that I never fulfilled my longing to go out on my own...?