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She gets sad and gives me bad vibes when I do things on my own or with other people. She equates anything done without her as "I'm choosing to be without her" rather than just "choosing to do something on my own".
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This is what lead me to believe you are experimenting with time alone.
You could do a trial seperation - but you will be putting her through a lot of distress. You also risk the fact that SHE might see she is happier/better off without YOU.
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Actually, this is more of a quiet voice in my head, that I think about while I am alone. When I am with her (which is most of the time), I am fully present with her. She is absolutely "certain" about us. (which makes me feel more like a jerk for having these thoughts, but I can't help how I feel).
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You can't say you are completely present with this having been on your mind for years. It's possible, again, her "bad vibes" is her feeling you pull away. Trust me, she feels uncertain, and being the person she is, is still trying to support you. The bad vibes are also your guilt that you're probably projecting onto her.
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I've actually had thoughts that it might be good if she fell in love with someone else so that I could slip away in the night without hurting her...
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This speaks volumes.
At this point you might as well flip a coin. You are in limbo, keeping HER in limbo, and it isn't really fair to either of you.
