| | Re: Why is it so hard
Counseling didn't work for us the first time either. We didn't mesh too well with the first counselor so really didn't learn anything. Shortly after that we tried again with someone new and it was so helpful! We were lucky to have found her on only our second try. If he isn't open to it just yet, you go. Find a new counselor and start with you. Even if the next one doesn't do what you need them to do, find another until you get that fit. You will find it.
It's likely that, as you say, you are not the person you used to be so he feels like he has lost you also.