Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

Amplexor · 03-06-2008, 02:38 PM

Trust is a difficult thing to rebuild after being betrayed. If you’ve read some of my posts here you’ll know I detest cheating in any relationship but I also understand people make mistakes and can make atonements. While my wife never physically cheated on me she did get involved in an emotional affair and fell in love with him. I found out about it last spring and it hurt like heck. Their relationship finally ended a few months ago and we are trying to recover. I too can feel like a snoop at times and I hate it but my trust is growing. There’s an old saying from the 80’s. Trust but verify. Your sense of betrayal is natural. Any time we are hurt we lose trust and we try to protect ourselves from being hurt again. If you can feel in your heart that he is being truthful with you, move forward in the relationship with professional help. He will have to understand that he can never stray again. Zero tolerance and all. You will have to get over the trust issues to make you both happy in the relationship. Relationships can recover from a betrayal but it takes work and time. I don’t think a year is an unusual amount of time for someone to still sting from being hurt in such a way. If before the incident, you were the happiest you’ve ever been in your life then giving this more time could be the wisest choice. Good luck.

03-06-2008, 02:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
Amplexor Moderator Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Midwest Posts: 501	Re: Still not over it Trust is a difficult thing to rebuild after being betrayed. If you’ve read some of my posts here you’ll know I detest cheating in any relationship but I also understand people make mistakes and can make atonements. While my wife never physically cheated on me she did get involved in an emotional affair and fell in love with him. I found out about it last spring and it hurt like heck. Their relationship finally ended a few months ago and we are trying to recover. I too can feel like a snoop at times and I hate it but my trust is growing. There’s an old saying from the 80’s. Trust but verify. Your sense of betrayal is natural. Any time we are hurt we lose trust and we try to protect ourselves from being hurt again. If you can feel in your heart that he is being truthful with you, move forward in the relationship with professional help. He will have to understand that he can never stray again. Zero tolerance and all. You will have to get over the trust issues to make you both happy in the relationship. Relationships can recover from a betrayal but it takes work and time. I don’t think a year is an unusual amount of time for someone to still sting from being hurt in such a way. If before the incident, you were the happiest you’ve ever been in your life then giving this more time could be the wisest choice. Good luck. __________________ Amp Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.