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Originally Posted by needing_affection  Counseling is definitely what she/we need, but so far she won't go. Her family is totally different than mine in as far as they don't discuss feelings & problems and none of them would ever go to counseling. Counseling is definitely part of the answer though. |
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Originally Posted by needing_affection Money is our other main problem. She is totally irresponsible with it, won't stop shopping (everything is too good of a deal to pass up) and she won't save at all. |
They say the top 3 Marraige destroyers are :
1. Sex
2. Money
3. Communication
You have all 3 of these going on. I so agree with every word of
Laurae1967's post.....It is time for some TOUGH LOVE, she is out of control, has no discipline with her spending- no concern for your welfare, you was kind enough to adopt her daughter in all of this....... If she would quit all this time shopping & racking up the bills outside of her work schedule , it would cut down on her stress and she could find time to be with her husband, learn to heartfully communicate.
Time to let her know what she stands to loose . Otherwise, if this continues on the course it is, you will be ripe for falling into the arms of another .... how long do you think you can stand being in a near sexless marraige? Sexless is considered less than 10 times a year, you are pretty close -with the exception of those vacations. That is no way to live in a marraige. The Resentment will eat you alive, doesn't matter how much you love her.
Her lack of willingness to sit down, hear you out, discuss these issues with a plan for real change, including getting counseling - is reason enough to do an ultimatum on her. Sometimes it takes something drastic to open anothers eyes. Unfortunetly it often works that way.
You have allowed her to put a straight jacket on you.
